For every behavior there is a reason. Some cats bite and scratch for the sheer sensual pleasure of it. Others do so to send a message. Decoding your cat’s motivation is the first step toward changing the behavior.
Cats aren’t aware of how delicate our skin is. I have worked with many cats who are surprised and upset to hear that their roughhousing is causing their human companion pain. In this case, they happily agree to tone down their play.
It takes two to tango, however. For this solution to succeed, the cat’s person must offer toys rather than arms, hands or toes for interactive play. Shoelaces, feathers and CatDancers are excellent substitutes for skin.
What is happening just before your cat bites? Many of the cats I have worked with have bitten or scratched while being stroked or held. Take Blackie, for instance. Irresistibly cute, Blackie is better known as Piranha for lashing out when touched. Her family couldn’t understand why she would approach them for pets – and enjoy the attention – only to lash out at them at some point.
During the consultation, I learned that Blackie loves cuddling with her human family, so long as it’s pleasurable for her. And that’s the critical proviso because Blackie is acutely sensitive to the energy people emit while petting her. Every stroke feels like the zap of static electricity, so a little touch goes a long way. It doesn’t bother her while she’s up and about. However, when she’s in repose, relaxing on couch or bed, a friendly touch packs a real wallop. It’s at this point when she lashes out at the offending hand.
Another cat I have worked with, Zelda, strikes to preserve her space. Adopted from a shelter, Zelda is ever vigilant of her space, or safety zone. Encroach on it and watch out!
She also bites and scratches to demand quality attention from her human companion. During the consultation, Zelda requested “mindful petting,“ as she put it. Mindfulness in Buddhism means acting with purpose and focused attention. Zelda, queen of the household, didn’t cotton to absentminded petting while her companion watched big-screen television or chatted with friends. She wanted focus, even if only for a few minutes at a time.
Cats such as Blackie and Zelda attempt to modify human behavior through biting and scratching. In these instances, it is my task to negotiate gentle yet clear ways for companion animals to convey their message. For these two I devised a hierarchy of signals. You know, first the don’t touch me glare, next the stop it swat (claws sheathed), then the I mean it no-pressure fang hold. First I negotiate with the cat then with their human companion to honor the new signals.
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Or is it? Cats are communicating with you daily at multiple levels: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Consequently, their motivations can take some time to ferret out fully. I once had two sessions with a one-year-old cat named Angel who regularly nipped and scratched his elderly human companion. When we first communicated, he asserted: “I’m young. I’m vital. I have energy!“ In short, to get her to put down her book and play with him, Angel instigated play with his person as he would with another cat.
Only upon our second session did Angel reveal his full reason for pouncing on his person. Two years ago she and her husband had left a rich network of friends to settle in Washington where they could reside near their adult children. No sooner had they arrived than her husband died. Uprooted and grieving, Angel’s mom hasn’t the heart for this new stage in her new life. Through initiating play, Angel is inviting his mom to focus on the here and now.
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